You are so Canadian
by freddyburn
Summary: Frank fulfills some Canadian stereotypes! (Hope no one is offended).
1. Chapter 1

Annabeth Chase was used to seeing strange sights around Camp Half-Blood. In a camp filled with the offspring of immortal Greek gods, strange went with the territory- especially when their Roman children moved in. But this sight took the prize. It wasn't often one saw a rampaging Moose running around, chasing the children of the god of war. Clarisse, head councillor and chief bully of the camp, whirled around and tried to take on the Moose with a practise spear, but the moose changed into a beaver and gnawed on the wood. Annabeth blinked, and then there was a polar bear towering over the angry looking (read scared) Head councillor. With a snarl of frustration (ahem, fear), Clarisse threw down the remains of the spear and stormed off and the polar bear changed into none other than Frank Zhang. He wore the jersey of the Vancouver Canucks over a pair of jeans and tattered runners, a hockey stick strapped to his back, and he was grinned widely.

"Victory, eh?" he called out happily.

"Frank, what's going on?" Annabeth asked.

"Um, what are you talking aboot?" he asked.

"Chasing Clarisse," Annabeth said.

"She was insulting Hazel. Calling her things like 'Death Breath.' I am allowed to defend Hazel's honour, eh?"

Annabeth walked away shaking her head.

000

Clarisse watched in fascination at the sight before her. It was a magnificent sight. Really, it was. The mound of pancakes were amazing. Everyone at the table attacked the pile of food like true children of the God of War- except one.

"What's up Frank?" she asked around a mouthful of food.

"It's missing something," Frank said with a scowl, then produced a bottle of syrup from inside his jacket. The bottle was even shaped like a maple leaf. Clarissa's eyes buleged.

"Oh, my, Gods," Clarisse whispered. "You are so Canadian."

Frank looked offended.

"Aw, did I hurt your feelings?" Clarisse said in a mock sympathetic voice.

"It's cool," Frank said. "I'll just go back home and get my feelings checked out with our free health care service."

000

Annabeth strode into Cabin Three, ready to tell them off for the noise they were making. Normally, Percy and Tyson were quiet, but something was getting them riled up tonight. Once she made it passed the threshold, she stopped. Percy, Tyson and Frank were sitting in front of a tv, watching a hockey game.

"Come on, get it in, shoot," Frank was practically screaming, spilling something from a cup in his hand. The liquid splashed over some bacon that lay on a plate by his side. A loud buzzer sounded, and an announcer stated the end of the second period. Frank grumbled good naturedly and took a sip from his cup before he spotted Annabeth. He smiled. Percy and Tyson just grumbled that they were losing an awful lot of money.

"Annabeth, would you like to join us, eh?"

"I'd love to. At least someone is being polite," she said, glaring at Percy and Tyson.

"Well, us Canadians pride ourselves on good manners," Frank smiled.

Percy's eyes bulged.

"Seriously? You're like, a stereotype man," he said.

"How do you figure that, eh?" Frank asked.

"Well, you are overly polite, you love hockey, you eat bacon, you cover your pancakes in syrup and to top it all off, you are drinking syrup from a Tim Hortons cup," Percy said.

"And let's not forget chasing Clarisse as a moose, a beaver and a polar bear," Annabeth put in.

Twenty minutes later, and Annabeth strode out the door. What with Percy and Frank bickering and acting like children, she had kind of, maybe, sort of lectured them about been adults. As she walked away, three pairs of eyes watched her from the window of Cabin Three. Finally, someone spoke.

"Good thing she didn't find the Molson in the cooler, eh?"

Authors note: No offence to any Canadians reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Six of the seven from the prophesy sat around the dining room table in Percy's mom's house as Frank busied himself in the kitchen. Nico would occasionally pop in and out of the shadows, grinning maniacally, scaring Leo. Finally, Frank came in pushing a waiter's cart full of food. He put a large plate of well, something, in front of everyone.

"Um, Frank? What in Hades is this stuff?" Leo asked, looking confused.

"It's poutine. It's made with French Fries, gravy and curds," Frank explained.

"And you actually eat this stuff?" Leo asked.

Percy muttered his enjoyment around a mouthful as Frank reached for a sharpened hockey stick.

000

It was snowing heavily in New York. Everyone was sitting in front of a roaring fire, enjoying hot chocolate. Well, almost everyone. Hazel had said something to Frank, who had immediately stood up and steered Percy outside. After several hours, Frank trundled in, grinning. Even Percy looked pleased.

"It's ready," Frank exclaimed happily, grabbing Hazel by the hand and leading her outside.

Everyone else followed, and gasped. The back lawn was nearly taken up with a massive igloo.

"Um, Frank, why?" Annabeth asked.

Frank shrugged.

"Hazel never saw one before, eh?"

"How did you know how to build one without me?" Leo asked.

"Fire and ice don't mix, eh?"


	3. Chapter 3

Leo and the Stoll brother had a plan hatched, involving Frank and Hazel. They were going to trick Frank into believing he was meeting Hazel in a cottage in the woods for a romantic date then dump syrup on him and take photos. They agreed to get the fake note they had written to him and be ready at eight o'clock, then they scampered off to avoid suspicion. They didn't notice a bird in the tree where they were standing turn in Frank, who grinned as he hatched his own plan.

000

Leo put the finishing touches to his costume. He really didn't really look like Hazel, but in the dim light, he hoped that it would convince Frank to come close enough for the prank to go smoothly. Just as he was about to check his watch, the door of the cottage banged open and bounced off the wall. Frank stood in the door, dressed in a Mounties Uniform. He smiled when he saw Leo and strode over to him. Leo grinned to himself, and was about to unleash the syrup when suddenly, he found himself crushed against Frank's chest.

"Je t'aime, Hazel," he breathed into Leo's ear. Leo gulped and began wriggling, trying to get out. Frank chuckled.

"Pourquoi êtes-vous nerveux? Vous êtes un tricheur mexicain," Frank murmured, nuzzling Leo's neck with his nose. Leo struggled some more. He bet he looked like an episode of an old programme—the cat with a white stripe trying to escape from the clutches of the love sick skunk. But he froze. His French might not be so good, but he was sure Frank had said something about Mexico.

"Je sais que sur votre plan," Frank purred as he began nibbling on Leo' ear lobe and Leo lost it.

"I can't do this," he called out, finally freeing himself from Franks grasp. He tore off the wig and ran out the door as Frank took off after him, cursing all the way.

From behind a one way mirror, the Stoll brothers came out with a camera.

"Dude, Frank was right. Turning the prank around on Leo was awesome," they sang in unison.

000

Two days later, and Frank and Hazel were having a lovely picnic when they were joined by Piper.

"Um, Frank," she started.

"What's up?" Frank asked, taking a sip of his syrup.

"Do you know where Leo learned to sweat in French?" Piper asked.

"Not a clue," Frank said innocently.

**Je t'aime, Hazel = I love you, Hazel**

**Pourquoi êtes-vous nerveux? Vous êtes un tricheur mexicain = Why are you nervous? You are a Mexican trickster/cheater**

**Je sais que sur votre plan = I know about your plan**


End file.
